Happy New Year!

May 2010 bring you and your family health, happiness, and success.

Happy New Year!

Lea Schizas

Article Databases and Ghostwriting

I just wanted to pop in and give you an interesting link posted by Karen Cioffi on her blog:



If you have a newsletter you distribute, Karen offers a few links to get some articles. She also posts information on ghostwriting.

Woah! Where are all of these coming from?

He ran fast, quickly.
She snored, sleeping.
She smelled like a fresh flower, roses, lilies, carnations.
He muttered, whispering softly.

Is this a new trend? First off, pick and choose your descriptive details…once. Don’t be redundant. May read like a new method but it’s nonetheless repetitive, redundant, similar, the same. Get my drift? You’re not inventing a creative voice. Just adding extra words for no reason that will be edited, or at least a good editor should catch and comment to reword. Everything in moderation, please. No overkill.

He ran fast, quickly? Pick one.

She snored, sleeping. Um…is there any other way to snore without sleeping, unless you have a nasal problem.

She smelled like a fresh flower, roses, lilies, carnations. “A” is the optimum word here so pick one.

He muttered, whispering softly. Not sure about you but when someone mutters it’s because he’s eating his words and whispering. Then again, maybe the folks I hang around with are just plain weird.

So, how many other words have you come across while reading that are redundant and feel like yelling at the writer?

Art of Critique: One

Nothing is more crucial than getting a second pair of eyes to look over your manuscript. Many writers can’t afford a professional editor (great special on editing by the way)so they rely on a critique partner or group for help to hone their manuscripts. Yet, there are far too many who believe they can edit their own work, and this is evident by some of the published books reviewed in the last year.

In total honesty, every book should go through an initial reader, and that first reader can and should be a critique partner or group, if you can’t afford an editor.

Here are some of the benefits and musts of joining a critique group or teaming up with another writer to exchange critiques:

A good critique will not change the writer’s voice but suggest ways to improve scenes. When critiquing, never add, “If I was writing this I would…” – instead write, “Suggestion…” and add your comments why you feel that scene/passage needs changing.

A good critique group never bashes. There is no point for hurt feelings. Everyone is trying to help each other and by saying things like, “This sucks.” you are offering nothing but total insult. A better way to express this would be, “This scene didn’t move me because…” and give your reasons along with suggestions how to improve it. A writer won’t understand your ‘insult’ if you are not clear why that scene didn’t work.

As part of a critique group make sure to be objective where your work is concerned. If you are going to argue and explain your reasons for writing that scene you won’t get the full impact of the group. Be polite even if you don’t agree with some of the suggestions, and thank them for their time. Then go over their comments and suggestions and pick and choose what you feel best suits your work. Much better than returning with smart-ass zingers and "I'm going to hunt you down." comments.

When more than one writer suggests a change in the same passage, then be objective where your manuscript is concerned and really look at their comments. They are your first readers, after all, and if they are stumped in a scene imagine the reactions of your buying readers.

Some critiques may contradict others. This is where you need to evaluate each comment and see which, if any, enhances your manuscript.

Remember that not every writer knows the ‘needs’ of a particular genre. For this reason I always suggest to pick the right group or partner who either writes or is an avid reader of that genre.

Stay tuned for more on the art of critique in future posts.

Passive Writing

I was going to write about passive writing, but then I decided that maybe it was better to show you what I mean, so decided to write this sentence that includes passive voice, a run-on sentence, and just extremely long and boring heading nowhere but to give you an extreme headache.


Passive voice is the replica of a smashed mirror. You have fragments of words stringed together. Does this makes sense? No? Picture a mirror. Now picture a broken mirror, tons of pieces lined in a row on top of a string. Llft the string and you chance a piece falling off. Too much of a metaphoric explanation for you?

The pieces of mirror are your readers who are reading your book. At some point they break away from your book because you’ve bored them to death with nothing but passive and telling passages. They are the pieces falling off. In all reality, every single piece will fall off that string unless they are tied down…so tie your reader down with an active voice.

“But, editor, passive is the way we speak.”
“Yes, but passive should be in the lower percentage of your writing.”
“I don’t get it.”
“Then you haven’t read as much as you think you have.”

The one constant thing I repeat to writers is to connect your character to the reader. When this magical event takes place then a reader cannot put the book down, cannot forget about the character, will feel the same urgency and emotional upset as your character, and will stick it out until those last two words come into play: The End. And one way to connect reader and character is to use an active voice, showing rather than telling their story.

Think of a story as your canvas. Without the fine, intricate ‘showing’ paint strokes the message hidden within the portrait is lost to the viewer. Same rule applies to a story. You need to show the details using vivid and powerful words along with the five senses.

Choosing weak verbs only allows a reader to simply ‘read’ a passage without pulling them into your fictional world.

For example:

I watched as she ate breakfast.

Does this excite you? Can you ‘see’ this other person? Do you care? It offers nothing. Now let’s change it around a bit:

I watched as drool and bits of cereal dribbled down the side of her mouth. She munched away as though given her last meal.

Now we have some sort of a visual, and get the sense this character ate like a pig and extremely hungry without having to say:

I watched as she ate like a pig.

Eliminating passive tone and bringing it to an active voice changes how a reader connects to the story. One causes them to take an outsider’s view, while the other brings them right into the story.

YOUR TURN: Write one passive sentence and then change it to active. Come on, don't be a chicken.

Santa's List

So Santa's checking his list...twice. You know...that 'naughty or nice' list of writers who had made goals this year. He's checking to make sure if they were nice and met most of them, or naughty and missed most of them.

Which side of his list are you on?

What were your goals for 2009 and how many did you meet?

Setting yearly goals is a must in order to keep your career and writing moving forward. If your goal is to finish that one manuscript facing you every day then set a daily or weekly schedule to write an x amount of words that day/week. But whatever you do, don't get disappointed if you don't meet your goal. If you've set realistic heights and everyday life gets in the way, then simply evaluate your weekly accomplishment. Pat your back and give yourself kudos for even having written anything while you were sick, drove the kids back and forth to school, stayed overtime at work, entertained, nursed the pet back to health...remember to factor in these elements.

The things NOT to factor in are:

talking on the phone
going shopping with a friend
volunteering to do everyone's chores

The above need serious butt-kicking out of your system in order to meet your goals.

So, are you on Santa's naughty or nice list? What goals have you achieved this year?

Leave your comments so we can cheer you on.

Elements in a book

Novels have a particular outline a writer follows, one that empowers a novel to fulfill its capacity as a fully-fleshed out novel.

You need an MC (main character, antagonist, hero, heroine) who has a goal to obtain.

This goal now ups the stakes. Your MC will face obstacles because of this goal, setting him back several times, changing him in some way during the course.

The goal needs to be something a reader can relate to in their ‘real’ world and glue them until the end to see the resolution.

You need to figure out who the secondary characters – along with the antagonist is – and how they help or hinder the main character’s ability to reach his goal.

Your setting must fit the storyline and be thoroughly sketched before you write. Having an idea of the world you are about to create helps to add that ‘believable’ factor.

The period you are setting your book in is crucial. Knowing what people wore, spoke, acted in that period enhances the story.

In what way will your main character grow at the end? Will he achieve his goal? How?

What will the subplots be and how will you tie everything together at the end.

These are major points to contemplate when outlining your storyline because they will help flesh out your manuscript.

Please Vote

This may be a new blog but hopefully you're enjoying it enough to consider voting Pen Perfect Associates as one of Writer's Digest's 101 Best Writing Sites:

If so, then please send an e-mail to writersdigest@fwmedia.com with “101 Websites” in the subject line. Within the body of the email include Pen Perfect Associates--http://penperfectassociates.blogspot.com/

Thank you for your support.

Runaway from run-on sentences

“I can’t believe she told him what I told her blabbed all over the campus getting dirty looks.”

Come again? The above is called a ‘run-on’ sentence. It’s several sentences melted into one to make one heckuva confusing read. Different thoughts in a sentence need their own space. Use a combining word and a few commas:

“I can’t believe she told him what I had told her, and then blabbed it all over the campus, causing many to give me dirty looks.”

Although the above is still quite long and fuses a few different umbrella thoughts together, it’s passable, not recommended, but passable. The better approach would be to give that last thought its own space:

“There were so many dirty looks coming my way I wanted to hide underneath a rock.”

To avoid run-on sentences simply use:

• a period to end one thought and begin a new sentence
• a conjunction
• or use a semicolon

Your aim is to make sure each sentence is clear, crisp, and makes sense by allowing one complete thought to finish. You know what you’re trying to say, but readers may go ‘huh?’

YOUR TURN: Have you ever come across a book where you were totally confused? You know--the huh? factor!

New Year's Editing Special

Pen Perfect and DKV want you to get 2010 off to a GRRReat start. How? By offering you our annual New Year’s Editing Special. With these affordable—yet limited time so act now—prices you’ll start 2010 with a fully and professional edited manuscript. But wait…I’m not done. Need to give you the scoop:



• Special begins January 1, 2010
• Special ends January 15, 2010
• Queries begin immediately.

Guidelines:

Pen Perfect with Lea Schizas:

Query me at museitupeditor at gmail dot com with the following:

1. Your name and email address
2. Genre
3. Word and page count of completed manuscript
4. Short blurb what the book is about
5. Time frame you’re looking to have edited manuscript back

Regular price: $3.00 a page
Special for limited time only: $1.00 a page

Not only will I edit the full manuscript using Track Changer for you to see my edits, comments, and suggestions, but you’ll have an opportunity to send me your final ms with all of your new changes using Track Changer so I can spot them, and I’ll go over these changes and comment on them.

Don’t delay. Special begins January 1 and ends January 15, but you can query me now and get your book in the queue for edits. NOTE: Not all queries will be accepted. I’m honest that way. If a book is not something I feel I can properly bring it up to its genre standards, then I’ll let you know. Books must be completed. If I have an opened door to a publishing house and feel they may be interested, then I’ll give you the contact info once edits are finalized.

Payment: Payment can be via Paypal or cheque through snail mail. You have the option of paying half before we begin and the rest once I tell you the manuscript is complete, or the full amount right away.

For more information, feel free to email me at: museitupeditor at gmail dot com with EDIT REQUEST on the subject heading. Do NOT send me an attachment until I’ve emailed requesting your manuscript.

DKV with Karen Cioffi:

Same dates apply here: January 1 – January 15, 2010
Basic editing and critique of picture books through children’s chapter books:

Picture books and easy readers (up to 1000 words): $5.00
(Regular pricing is $10)
Chapter books (and others above 1000 words): $1.00 per page
(Regular pricing is $2.00 per page for each service separately)
Note: 12 font Arial is preferred

Will provide feedback on revisions

FREE picture book and chapter book critique or review
(1000 word limit – first 5 query/requests)

FREE blogger site creation (first query/request)

FREE 1 page copy ad or press release (first query/request)

Depending on number of requests, 2-4 week turn around. I reserve the right to extend turn around an additional 2 weeks if needed.

You can query me now and get your book in the queue.

NOTE: I will make every effort to accept all requests, but if circumstances warrant and I need to dismiss a query, l will provide an explanation to the party involved.

Payment: Payment can be via Paypal or cheque through snail mail. You have the option of paying half before we begin and the rest once I tell you the manuscript is complete, or the full amount right away.

For more information, or to send your requests, email Karen at: karenrcfv at yahoo dot com. Please put DKV January Special in the subject box. Please do not send attachments before contacting me.

So, my fellow writers, Pen Perfect and DKV Writing 4U are offering you a chance to begin 2010 with a bang. Query us NOW! Don’t delay. Deadline is just around the corner.

Lea & Karen

Excuses and Five Senses

Don’t make excuses. Don't make funny faces. Write. So what if the laundry is piling higher than your roof. It ain’t going anywhere.

Yes, some days your Muse will decide to hide and sleep. That’s fine, we all deserve a break. But allow your Muse to go on a long holiday and you’re done for. Force her back by reading, enticing her to join you and maybe come up with new ways to have ended or written that book.

Reading and writing is an escape from the usual daily chores in one’s life.

Perhaps your Muse went away because she was stuck using the same old words and fed up. Help her. Buy a Thesaurus.

The Muse might have been sick and tired of the boring passages in the novel because she couldn’t smell, taste, touch, see, or hear anything in your fictional world. If you lost your Muse imagine how quickly your reader will leave you.

YOUR TURN. Let’s try an exercise in using some of the five senses. Look at my exercise and then post your one paragraph description.

You're held captive in a dungeon, hands tied tightly, burning into your flesh. In one paragraph describe your situation, using as many of the five senses as possible. Be creative.

Run-on sentences

Tame those run-on sentences. Check this out:

“I can’t believe she told him what I told her blabbed all over the campus getting dirty looks.”

The above is called a ‘run-on’ sentence. It’s several sentences melted into one to make one heckuva confusing read. Different thoughts in a sentence need their own space. At least use a combining word and a few commas:

“I can’t believe she told him what I had told her, and then blabbed it all over the campus, causing many to give me dirty looks.”

Although the above is still quite long and fuses a few different umbrella thoughts together, it’s passable, not recommended, but passable. The better approach would be to give that last thought it’s own space:

“There were so many dirty looks coming my way I wanted to hide underneath a rock.”

To avoid run-on sentences simply use:

• a period to end one thought and begin a new sentence
• a conjunction
• or use a semicolon

The best method, however, is to make sure each sentence is clear, crisp, and makes sense by allowing one complete thought to finish.

Creativity Abounds

“My mind is numb. I can’t think of any storylines.”

I hear this at times and want to strangle someone. Perhaps I’m an oddball, one of a few out there who have so many ideas floating around in their heads there’s not enough ‘life’ time to get them all penned unless we stay up 24/7.

Your inspiration for a storyline is everywhere. Look around.

Across the street there’s a little old man helping a woman with her grocery bags. Why? Does he have an alternative motive? Is he harassing her?

You noticed the mailman limping the other day. Wonder if he was in an accident. Or could he be the serial killer the victim said she shot in the leg?

Your son invites his best friend over and your dog barks up a storm when he sniffs him. Why? Does he sense something evil in him?

You're vacuuming and suddenly your cat starts walking around looking up as though following someone. A chill shakes your body...is there a ghost in the house?

Do you see where I’m going with this? Use your imagination! Notice something and then pose questions. These questions need answers, and eventually turn into your outline.

YOUR TURN: Have you ever started a storyline using the 'what if' factor or looking at something and asking questions, like I mention above?

Psst...Killers

No, not actual killers, but things you might say that will cause an agent or even a publisher to consider killing you, strangling you, or worse…rejecting you.

First off, tell them that they’ve never ever come across a book like yours and you turn them off. They hear this so often it’s a turn-off.

Mention that your book is going to make them rich because it’s going to be the next best seller and you have now succeeded in boiling their blood and one step closer to strangulation.

Tell them that everyone who read your book – mom, dad, sister, brother, aunt, uncle, neighbor, cousin, best friend, grandma, grandpa – absolutely loved it. Yep, they now have removed strangulation from their thoughts and have made a list on how to kill you off. Congratulations. You’ve made a mild-mannered agent/publisher into a killer.

However, maybe your book is different. Maybe your book might make them rich. Maybe those first readers were right to say they loved it. How the heck will they know if they are too busy contacting hit men? Geez!

No wonder we writers are nutty!!!

YOUR TURN: What one thing turns you batty about the publishing world?

Readers Love Conflict

Readers want action, suspense, something that will grab a hold of them and not let go until The End is reached.

What exactly is conflict in a story? It’s quite simple; a problem or obstacle your main character must overcome by the end of the story. Think of it as your engine that drives your car forward. Without one your car remains idle, collecting dust in the driveway. Give your car a super booster engine and you’ll coast the streets with no worries. Well, until the police stop you.

In a story conflict steers your character through various situations he must overcome. This intrigues and pulls your reader deeper into the story, connecting with your character’s predicament. A character needs a hurdle, makes for an intriguing situation to find out the outcome. Without an outcome, there is no magnetic ‘sparkplug’ charge with your reader.

Before writing your story and making up your character profile, ask yourself these questions:

1- What will be the main goal the protagonist will face and need to overcome?
2- Who will be my target audience?

The second question is important because it helps you to focus your words and subject matter to suit the appropriate audience. For stories aimed at children, your focus will need to adapt to a child’s view of the world around them. Remember that a child can only comprehend events that they may have heard or experienced according to their age. Keeping this in mind it shapes the conflict to fit their understanding.

What subject matter can you write about for this age group? Middle grade readers love mysteries, soft spooky tales ( no knife-wielding maniacs, head chopping, blood and core etc, more suspenseful and ‘goose-bumping tales like in the “Goosebumps” books), magical tales (Harry Potter), even teeny bopper stories like “The Babysitters Club” or “Sweet Valley High”. These latter ones are suitable for the Young Adult market, too.

TYPES OF CONFLICTS:

Here are some examples of conflicts in some books:

- the almighty tried and successful ‘good against evil’
Think Harry Potter, The Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Little Red Riding Hood, The Three Little Pigs…yes, these fairy tales were using the ‘good against evil’ method if you sit down and think about it. The wolves in both fairy tales were intent on overcoming their ‘so-they-thought’ weaker counterparts.

In the above examples, something stood in the protagonist’s way:

Harry tries to defeat Voldemort but problems and other antagonists along the way makes this quest difficult for him.

The Lord of the Rings finds Frodo’s quest to destroy the Ring but evil and dark forces stand in his way, too.

Luke Skywalker in Star Wars needs to defeat the new order of evil, and he, too, faces many obstacles and characters along the way.

In each of these examples, these obstacles (new smaller conflicts against the bigger goal they are after) causes a reader to continue reading to find out if he’ll be successful, how he will outsmart them, and what change will this cause in the main character. Along with these obstacles, throwing in some inner conflicts alongside the outer emotions helps to cast them more as three-dimensional beings, for example:

Luke Skywalker deals with the knowledge he has a sister somewhere out there. His inner being and emotions help to make him more sympathetic, which eventually bonds the reader to him. The same with Frodo; his world has been thrown for a loop when he takes on the quest of the Ring…along the way he begins to doubt if he, indeed, is the best man for this job. Also, he questions his will power to avoid succumbing to the dark forces once he has tasted the Ring’s power.

Another example to show you what ‘inner conflict’ means:

Let’s assume your book is based on a police officer who mistakenly shoots a young child while pursuing a suspect. It’s dark in the building and the kid jumped out of nowhere with a toy gun. The police officer is suspended while the case is being investigated.

INNER EMOTIONS:

How he deals and is dealt by his immediate peers
His struggle to remove the visions of the killing
The emotional turmoil as he waits for the investigation to conclude.
His dealings with the parents of the child he accidentally killed.

Throughout all of these emotions the one factor that will bind your reader to continue will be: How will he fare at the end of this book. The way you first portray this particular character in the beginning will be totally different by the end because of the various upsets he’s had to deal with. Show him as upbeat, nonchalant, no change at the end and you will lose your reader’s interest in the book and in you as an author.

Beginning, Middle, and Ending

Writers have asked me in the past how to begin a story. There are a few ways to go, such as: begin with the action and move forward in a straight line, adding perhaps some back-story/flashback to offer a peek as to the ‘why’ of the action taken place.

Transitions for a smooth telling of flashbacks needs fleshing not to confuse the reader.

You may begin with a flashback taking the reader slowly into the present. In other words, show the dilemma of the story upfront then work your way until you’ve reached the point where the story continues in the present stage. This method works best as a prologue, where the reader gets an opportunity to see the premise of the story’s happening before Chapter One begins. For example, in one of my newest novels I’m writing, The Brother’s Three, I begin with the prologue showing the main character, Zylorp, the hero of the book, in a trial determined to give him the death penalty. What I’ve done is take part of the ending to entice the reader as to this man’s fate, then began the first chapter somewhere in the past, slowly bringing the reader to the eventual happenings that have sealed Zylorp’s fate.

As for chapter endings, I am one who loves to finish with a cliff-hanger. However, not all chapters need cliff-hanging endings. But what they do need is a forward movement of the plot in each chapter, something new, whether an introduction to a new obstacle in your character’s path, a revelation he/she has finally discovered…whatever it is, it needs to extract a need to find out what’s going to happen in your reader and this applies to both children and adult writing.

Just remember when you feel stuck at any point as to how to continue, each obstacle/dilemma you’ve thrust in your character’s path needs to be resolved. So use them, figure out how they need to be unfolded and lay it out intertwined throughout the beginning and middle with the rest of the obstacles, and conclude them in the ending part or scene 3 as I call it, of your story/book.

Another thing to remember is never forget to revisit and explain or further indulge in a foreshadow you’ve seeded in a reader. You can’t hint about a hidden gun in the attic if this gun doesn’t come into play at some point. This is called cheating your reader and it may cause them not to read anything further from you.

For example, let’s take the Exorcist: a ouji board was used in the beginning. Its purpose? To show us the portal of evil was opened. Let’s assume now the ouji board was not used, then the possession of Linda Blair may or may not have made such a clear impact on the reasons for the possession of this young girl’s soul. A small bit of information; yet the foreshadow’s action of play demonstrates the clarity of information this seed planted.

Keeping the pace of character emotions and reactions, plot movement, unveiling of foreshadows in an orderly fashion will generate a sense of understanding in a reader without any confusion. And this is your goal: to entertain by bringing your world to life, wrapping your reader somewhere else other than their own everyday surroundings.

Happy Beginnings, Middles and Endings!

Loglines

Now what the blazes is a logline? Simple…a logline is your story’s heart and soul summarized in one or two sentences when asked, “So, what’s your story all about?”

Writers, at times, have a hard time pinpointing the core of the story and end up rambling on and on…a logline will help perfect the answer to the question above. Although loglines are usually associated with screenplays, even novelists will find them a tremendous help in sharpening their response.

Pinning your story down to only a line or two is not easy but with practice you will be able to give your reader a true account on what your book entails. Think of loglines as flash fiction: a need to pick and choose words carefully to give a complete picture.

In order to figure out the elements to place in a logline think of your book separated into three scenes: the beginning, the middle, and the end. From each scene take the essence, or high point, and write it down. When this exercise is done look over your ‘scenes’ and simplify them by somehow combining them into one or two cliff-hanging sentences.

For example, let’s take Harry Potter:

Beginning: Harry Potter discovers he has magical powers and receives an invite to enhance these powers to a school he’s never heard of.
Middle: He discovers his parents were killed and he is in the path of Voldemort’s anger. He befriends two students who become his sidekicks.
End: With the help of his two best friends they riddle out the puzzle of the Stone and Harry faces Voldemort for possession of the Stone.

Now let’s place the above info into a ‘hooking’ logline:

A young teen’s world is turned upside down when a seemingly innocent invitation to a school soon reveals a magical world possessed with a dark force waiting to take revenge on him.

You’ll note I didn’t mention the best friends since they are secondary to the plot and not as crucial to entice a reader. Voldemort’s name and the Stone were also omitted but given a darker overall image by placing ‘a magical world possessed with a dark force’. Also, by seeding ‘the revenge’ into a reader it ups his curiosity to find out what will happen and how the teen will deal with it.

Here is a basic and simple outline to follow what a logline should contain:

Who your protagonist is, which will also answer the question who the story is about
His goal, what he/she is striving to achieve
Who/what stands in his/her way

A logline won’t explain the whole storyline nor any of its subplots but will give a good impression of its genre and what the main character’s strive is all about.

When setting up a logline instead of giving a name give the descriptive detail of your character, for example:

John Smith’s adamant belief a witch living in his neighborhood is the cause of his recent bad luck, begins to hound the old lady into submission until she suffers a fatal heart attack and now haunts his dreams to the point he takes a family as hostage to prove his sanity and her existence.

Now replace his name with ‘An eccentric loner’s…’ and it gives the reader the impression of no one coming to his aid since he isolates himself from everyone. Or even ‘ a lonely man’s…’ now implies a man with nothing better to do than to come up with his own devices to give himself something to do.

Examples of fictional loglines to study:

A pair of vigilantes who believe they are cleaning up the streets in their neighbourhood only succeed in riling up the wrong gang.

Three musicians are on the ride of their life when they sign on with an agent who ends up embezzling all their money, leaving them back on the poor side of the track to make the comeback of their life.

A wealthy woman puts her life on the line when she sets herself up as bait to catch her husband’s killer.

The logline for my own soon-to-be-released paranormal/thriller “Doorman’s Creek” is”

A young teen and his friends discover a cave…and an entity that puts them in the path of a serial killer they must track down before he murders another family member.

A logline is your ad, your hook to cause a reader to pick up your book and purchase it. Offer enough of the essence of your plot to intrigue them, build their curiosity level to such an extent they ‘need’ to find out what happens.

You only have those few precious initial minutes to impress an editor/reader with your storyline so make it count.